Do you happen to find yourself being the odd one out of the group a lot whenever the topic starts to revolve around sex? All of your friends seem to be crazy at the idea of having sex with someone they desperately want to be with. And yet you, with all of your quirkiness, just seem to be disinterested in the whole concept of sex. You don’t see what the fuss is all about.
You’re the type of person who doesn’t really want to be physically intimate with anyone until after you’ve gotten to know them for a few months. You find yourself not getting turned on at the thought of having with casual friends or random strangers. If that’s the case, then you are probably someone who is demisexual.
Some think demisexuals have had some suppressed trauma or experiences with sex to have made them that way but whatever it is, it is real.
So what is demisexuality really?
Not too many people know about demisexuality and so you shouldn’t blame yourself for not knowing that such a thing exists either. It’s different from asexuality in the sense is that a demisexual person is still capable of being sexual. Asexuality means that someone is just disinterested in the idea of sex as a whole.
But to be demisexual means to only be sexually attracted to a person’s character and personality as opposed to physical appearances. And if you’re curious to find out if you’re a demisexual person or not, then this article is perfect for you. Here are 11 undeniable signs that you are a demisexual individual:
1. You don’t really get excited by the physical touch.
For a lot of people, getting touched by someone who they’re physically attracted to can set off a lot of signals in the body. But to you, it doesn’t really do anything. You’re not really to keen on having people touch you in general – especially if you feel like you don’t really connect with that person. Apart from being ticklish and sensitive, there’s nothing more to it.
2. You have always noticed that you were somewhat different while you were growing up.
You could never relate with the people around you when it came to talking about sex. Growing up, you always felt like something was wrong with your sexual gene because you always had a different idea of getting turned on than everyone else. How weird will it be to hear a little boy say, ” I don’t want my wife to moan when we have sex in future!” SUPER WEIRD.
3. You are very meticulous about the kind of sex that you enjoy.
You don’t really get into sex just for the sake of sex. You have certain standards. You have certain conditions. The act of sex in itself doesn’t really excite you. It’s who you’re having sex with that really motivates you.
4. You don’t find strangers “hot” or attractive.<
You are only attracted to personalities and emotions. And so you can’t really bring yourself to become attracted to a person unless you meet them first. You can never really relate when someone says “Woah, look at how hot he/she is.” when you don’t even know that person. Not to mean you can’t see beauty or handsomeness, you do! But you just don’t want to hump them…at least not immediately.
5. People have called you a prude at least once before.
A lot of people aren’t necessarily made aware of what demisexuality is. And so since you are the way that you are, they might often label you as a prude. They might just think that you’re afraid of sex in general when the truth is that you have completely different standards of sexy. Expressions like “OMG! You are so naive!” never passes you by.
6. You don’t care much for physical intimacy in a relationship.
You couldn’t care less if your partner was being less than physically intimate with you. To you, the only requirement you need is emotional intimacy and compatibility. In fact, that is the TURN ON switch.
7. The whole “hook-up” culture doesn’t really appeal to you.
You don’t understand how two people can just engage in casual sex without having it mean anything other than the physical aspects of it. You can’t really grasp your head around the idea of just meeting a stranger in a bar, going home with that person, having sex, and then leaving in the morning never to see them again. I mean, HOW?
8. You don’t get aroused by adult movies.
Adult movies don’t really turn you on because you don’t really have any emotional connections with the people who are on the screen. You can never find yourself to be sexually aroused by the sexual acts of two complete strangers. It’s just not something that you’re into. When you do, you find yourself digging through adult movies with story lines of love, intimacy and passion.
9. If you need sexual satisfaction, you rely on self-service.
Whenever you do feel like you need sexual stimulation, you can always just rely on yourself. You could never bring yourself to just go to a bar and hookup with a random stranger. You couldn’t just text a random acquaintance to come over for a booty call. You just don’t find any joy or fulfilment in that.
10. You think that emotional connections are more important than anything else in a relationship.
You are always looking to strengthen the emotional connection that you have with another person in the relationship. To you, that is always going to be the priority. “Don’t over do it!” they say. But how can you overdo YOU or stop being YOU. Mostly they walk out on you, singing, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” But that is just YOU and you can’t help it.
11. You usually date friends.
You usually date friends because these are people with whom you already share an emotional connection. You find it really hard to get excited about dating a person you’ve never met before; or someone who you’re not really emotionally intimate with. That’s why you tend to only date within your circle. Nothing sounds as lunatic and impossible to you as arranged marriages.