Not all fire crackers are safe for use. Fire crackers popularly known as knock out has gained it’s popularity over the years as an important tool for the Christmas spirit in my country, Ghana and many parts of the world. Lately, the sounds some fire crackers make is unusual. Only yesterday, I heard a sound that sounded more like a bomb than a firecracker, disturbing the neighborhood. This year there have been many recorded accidents caused by firecrackers in Ghana. There are very harmful and illegal firecrackers on the market we shouldn’t buy or use. Some of these are;
Forget sounding like the name of a gun. Anytime you’re dealing with a firework that sounds like the name of a goddamn Terminator, you know $hit is about to get real. The M1000 will blow your whole goddamn arm off. Again, we’re not talking about something that makes pretty colors for Grandma too ooh and aah over. We’re talking about something that was created just to explode and make a load of noise. Set some of these off and Grandma is liable to stroke out. You could probably fight off ISIS with a box of these.
Anytime you’re dealing with a firework that sounds like it could be the name of a machine-gun, you know you might end up in trouble. Of course, it doesn’t help that the noble M90 is the firecracker of choice for drunken hillbillies everywhere. Every year, crazy people around the world blow their fingers off with M90’s, all so they can take joy in the sound of something blowing up. Sure, sometimes it’s their own hand blowing up, but that’s why we have the Darwin Awards. Nature has an answer for everything.
It’s a freaking bomb. It’s just a ball stuffed with flash-paper with a wick hanging out of it and its sole purpose is to blow up and make a loud bang for drunken Cletus’ to hoot and holler over. Of course this is dangerous. Back in the day, they used to be even more dangerous, as up to a full gram of flash-paper was used, as opposed to the max amount of 50 milligrams used today. You might as well just toss grenades around the campfire.
These go by many names, like “Artillery Shells” and “Mortars,” and are the kind of fireworks you see at the big festivals. Of course, those are set off by trained professionals, not half-drunk dads and uncles who probably get flashbacks to ‘Nam because, well, because there are literally artillery shells and mortars going off around them.
If you want to know how dangerous these reloadables can be (named because, well, you can reload them) just ask North Dakota’s Jesse Burley. Oh wait, you can’t. That’s because in 2011, this dude blew his own head off while trying to reload an artillery shell firework. Look, anytime a firework is responsible for decapitating people, it’s going to end up on this list. That’s just a rule I have.
Another timeless favorite, the bottle rocket. Teenage boys love them, moms hate them. I use to love them too! Considering I personally know of three or four people in my circle of friends who have had mishaps with bottle rockets, it’s unsurprising that these make the list. Surprisingly, though, these only account for 2-percent of injuries. Unsurprisingly, I have poor choice in friends. Love you guys though.