For a lot of people that workout, they usually say, ” I love working out. Especially when I get to the gym and find my self a gym partner.” For me, all of that sucks. First of all, I don’t like working out…sometimes the thought of having to workout keeps me in bed for hours. I just like the results I see in the mirror after a workout….that’s why it sucks when I get back to my skinny self after a pump session. Another thing is the gym doesn’t do me any good neither does a gym partner. If you find this relatable, then you are probably my twin brother….or even sister.
1. No pain no gain
You enter the gym and the whole atmosphere has the “no pain, no gain” vibe. I got down on a bench some time at the gym and this instructor whom I never invited came to stand behind me screaming in my ears, “no pain, no gain.” I thought to myself, “Massa, whom invited you. I don’t want any trouble from your side oo” I had literally reached my limit but this guy wouldn’t stop screaming, “No pain no gain!” Struggling to push through because it would be embarrassing as hell not to try. It was the worst decision ever because it was way embarrassing when I tried. I was literally shaking like a nokia phone on vibration screaming, “HELP…HELP!!!” I saw my life flash before my very eyes….WTF!!
2. Everybody becomes your trainer
When people observe your skinny self at the gym, everybody feels qualified to be your trainer. Whomever passes by, wants to train you. “We don’t do it this way”, “Do it that way”, ” Take it down a notch” It is so fucking annoying especially when you turn around and see other built up guys doing the same thing you are doing; but because you are skinny, they assume you need help and everyone wants to show you that they are better than you.
3. Dripping sweaty niggas that always want to spar you
I work at my pace. “I am a lazy guy with low energy…I don’t need you to spar me”, but they always want to drop that $hit with me. They will stand right above your head and immediately, your nose ceases breath because of how smelly their workout shorts is. The worst part is when the sweat begins to drip on your face. “OMG!”, a lot of the gym guys just go with it so you don’t want to seem rude so you endure.
4. Oh then the killer FARTS
There is just something about pushing those weights that gets niggas asses popping farts every now and then. I became so experienced at identifying those that are just about to fart especially when they begin to make weird noises as if they are motivating themselves. $hit! They are just trying to cover up their fart noise. Sometimes, in your mind, it feels like a revenge kind of competition at a point. People hardly talk about it, but I could bet that it is some malicious $hit.
So when one guy pops a very bad one, guys remain silent and plan for a bigger payback, then another follows. So I have advised myself that whenever the first one pops, I have to run for my life from that area cos the one that follows is always worse.
That’s why I’d rather workout from home. Let me know what you hate about the gym too.