A clear predicament of guys in dating and relationships especially in the black community is the financial demands made by girls. It is such a norm that a guy pays a girl he is in a relationship with especially if he is sleeping with her. Yes, I did use the word ‘pay’ because that’s what it really is. You may not see it that way and that’s why you need to continue reading.
A relationship that is supposed to be based on love and companionship has literally become a game of the client and a prostitute where you literally have to pay your girlfriend to stay in a relationship with her. The funny thing is, the reason behind her feeling obligated to be paid for her services are unspoken. She hardly tells the guy the reason why she feels obligated to receive money from him has to do with the fact that you are in a relationship and usually, because you are sleeping together.This is usually because the society has beaten this thought in the minds of girls and when Moesha Boudong (Ghanaian celebrity) finally says it on television, all hell breaks lose among the hypocrites even those that didn’t share such notions were quiet. Ohoh! Hypocrisy and Africans! We really have to change. Nevertheless, there are many relationships where the girls are straightforward about it with their boyfriends when they are not paying up or lets put it in a more decent way, taking care of them. Yes, taking care of her like literally being the father of his girlfriend in a lot of situations.
There have been many situations where this insanity has been extended into marriage. There has been stories where women would demand money from her husband after performing all his financial duties to have sex with her. I mean, this is crazy!!
It is okay if your boyfriend takes you out on a date and takes care of it. Although some girls will like to split but I mean, a guy will like to be a ‘guy’ and pay for it. It is okay when a guy gets you a present or a gift or sometimes voluntarily would want to help with your need even without asking for it. But the problem arises when it feels like it his responsibility even before there is any marital commitment.
In fact, in a world where women are fighting for gender equality, it is quite ironic when women suddenly back out of favor for the idea when it comes to the responsibilities that comes with it. Women need to realize that they don’t get to enjoy ‘gender equality’ only when it comes to it’s benefits but the responsibilities as well. In this world of gender equality, a woman should be open minded, independent and self developed enough to offer some help if need be to her partner as well and not always the other way round.
If a man should pay a woman for sleeping with her, what stops the woman from paying the man for doing the same? Doesn’t she enjoy the sex too? If you are paid and taking care of BECAUSE you are sleeping with a guy or in a ‘relationship’ with a guy aren’t you just like a prostitute with a single client? Until of course the client doesn’t pay well then you move to the next that does. Don’t forget to share it because this ideology and notion in the minds of women in our society must stop! It makes no sense whatsoever!
It’s been the #unsaid of Africa, you can always argue your point because this is just mine and I’m out!