Growing up a Christian who loves the Lord and in a society that is very religious, I have come to realize that religion is destroying the sex lives of a lot of young people today. As a youth leader in christian circles, I have heard shocking stories I believe I may have never heard from an unbeliever. The sexual prowess of many christian men and women are limited in our day. Statistically, abortions and teenage pregnancies are estimated to be on the increase among Christians. The spread of STI’s especially HIV/AIDS has also found a stronghold in the church. Religions such as Islam where early marriages and polygamy is encouraged in some parts, the rates are increasing as well. These are realities many religious bodies do not want to face or admit( another reason for these problems in the first place) but they need to be addressed. The biggest problem with Religion(Christians) is the problem of IMAGE.
N.B When I say church in this article, I don’t mean every church or a particular church; I just mean the body of Christ in a generic context.
There may be many reasons for this reality among religious circles but as a Christian, I can only address this from my perspective. Many Christians seem to be more interested in keeping a holy image than actually being holy. Therefore, the church tries to stay as far away as possible from treating sexual related issues with young people in the church. When they do, all they say are the “DON’Ts“, you hardly hear “THE HOW’s“. When the church finally decides to speak to girls about their sexual health, a typical line you hear is, “Girls don’t let the boys touch you”
What does ‘touch’ even mean? When boys are blessed enough to be taught the how, they are taught, “If you feel like having sex, take a cold shower.” Oh but really? If a teenage boy had to take a cold shower every time he felt like having sex, it is either Pneumonia kills him quickly or the water in his country will run out.
The church is so afraid to empower her young people on their sexual health; a job schools have stopped doing because of the same influence of religious bodies. I share a story in this post about how ignorant I was about MASTURBATION in this post here.
The church is so bent on keeping the IMAGE more than the LIVES of young people. There is a thing that one church auntie always says that I find truth in, “Most of the church girls that get pregnant are the good ones.” These girls are usually the church mice who will not listen to SECULAR advice on how to lead her sex life,(contraceptives, after pills, STI prevention pills etc) She totally depends on the church who in turn fails her. Fails to give her practical truths on how to lead and have control of her sex life. Pastors who were able to remain virgins till they got married, usually keep silent about how they did it because they are concerned about IMAGE. Those that couldn’t remain virgins refuse to share their failures and triumph because of IMAGE. Some time ago, until a very popular man of God spoke about having oral sex, a lot of men of God taught it was demonic because nobody spoke about it. Until other men of God became vocal about having sex with their wives spontaneously even before church services and after, many church people taught it was satanic. Sex life for them was planned and boring.
You find a lot of young people in church today, having sexual relations and sometimes even with each other in the church. Guess what? They are usually the most active and loved in the church because they have learnt so well how to cover up their deeds and appear righteous. Now the best tactic used by them is JUDGEMENT. They talk down at others who appear to be unholy without the long skirts, and the talents they have. This makes them appear holy and better than the rest while in actual sense is just a cover up tactic.
A christian sister may trust and sleep with a christian brother thinking we are both Christians from the church and we can’t have any STIs; a mirage the church leads them to believe because we don’t talk about it or deal with it. You find boys and girls in church having children before they are ready because they were concerned about their image so much that they relied on the church without learning for themselves how to stay sexually healthy; a burden a young person shouldn’t have to deal with alone. And oh the abortions are really high because of the same problem with IMAGE; ‘nobody has to find out syndrome’.
The church then fails these young people and when they get pregnant, abort or contract an S.T.I, guess who the church blames? The young ones whom they failed. They are punished and ostracized like they are Lucifer himself which encourages the other young people in the church to continue the horrible cycle of pretense and hypocrisy.
One very common trend I am seeing is the life of Pharisees, a lifestyle Christ hated as depicted in the bible. Hypocrisy being the bane of the church today was something Jesus Christ himself dreaded. Where young people cannot be themselves and share their weaknesses and struggles expecting to be helped instead of typical Christian advice lines like, “Be lead, brother!”
The church should take up the responsibility of letting young people know the details they have to know about sex because parents and schools are failing because of the IMAGE problem the church has planted in the society and it is therefore the responsibility of the church to fix the problem.
Let’s do away with the pretense and face the reality that the church is not full of perfect people or angels but it is full of people with weaknesses and flaws.
We don’t always need to pray the Satan away because sometimes, Satan is our penises and vaginas. Teach us how to use them, teach us how to keep them, teach us how to protect them. We rely on you, please don”t fail us.
Please share this to your church leaders, parents, guardian, church groups. The church needs to wake up to protect our young people.
It is important to empower young people with information relating with their sex lives and give them direction based on CHOICE.