It has been a while since I last posted anything. I was running dry of inspiration. Considering the turbulent economy, lack of power and my busy schedule in school;working on a project, writing has become like plucking a strand of hair from my nostrils lately (OUCH!). Well, a wonderful thing happened to me in the midst of all this; I had an email from a visitor of my blog. Sharing her story reminded me of the main reason why i started this blog in the first place; being the voice that tells the truth no matter how silenced it may be. I am glad she trusts me to give her truthful answers.
Her main question was, “Does he love me?” This is a question that runs through the mind of a lot of girls. You sometimes wonder if your boyfriend, husband or just any guy is inlove with you. The context of love is extremely dicey and complicated especially when it is taken from an African’s perspective. I believe Africans know what it means to be in love but what we don’t know is what it means to say it. People all around the world, usually confuses sexual attraction with love. Therefore in Africa, we find people say,” I love you” the first day they set eyes on a girl. This makes it even more difficult to know if someone is really in love with you. I made few ramblings of this in my blog post, THE HEAVIEST THREE WORDS ON THE LIPS OF AN AFRICAN and LOVE IS OVERRATED.
For a lady to know whether a man truly loves her, she needs to understand ‘THE SEX WIRE OF GUYS’ because the fact is many men are either deceived by sex or they become deceptive because of sex. Either way, sex is the deceiver. Let me give you few tips to this truth;
1. Time does not mean love. The guy may stick around for years but that is NOT reason enough to say he loves you. “I know he loves me because he is always around”. Sex can also be a good reason enough for a man to stick around that long. Unless of course he has forsaken every opportunity to be with anyone else. Fact is, usually if a man sticks around that long he is usually playing around with someone else. Don’t trip!
2. Where does he often invite you to?. If the only place a guy likes to invite you to is his house, the likelihood of it being true love is thin. Count the number of times he only wants to have your company and the number of times he wants to have sex with you. It could be confusing for you…but it is definitely more confusing for him. Try to draw the line between the two. How interested is he in knowing about you. Listening to you just to have a glimpse of who you really are. If he still knows little about you over the years…hmmm
Love is patient, love is kind, love is…..blah blah blah. The most important part of, ” I LOVE YOU” is “YOU”. Love is an affection towards you. Love cant be because you are of convenience, not because you are a tool to show off, not because of what you can offer but it is because you are YOU.
Being YOU includes your appearance, your laughter even if its wierd like mine, and even when you being silly…everything YOU is what love is about.
You are special and you deserve to be truly loved.