I received a message during our male sexual abuse series about an assertion that males that are sexually abused by other males potentially become gay from the experience which I shared on my Instagram page. In my research, I came to realize that, it is indeed a popular belief that some men become gay from sexual abuse experiences they had when they were younger especially in their formative years.
This ideology somewhat makes sense when taken into consideration the fact that the formative years of children is very crucial to a child’s behavioral and habitual formation. Psychologist stands by the idea that whatever a child is exposed to at their formative years is very crucial to the child’s lifetime behavior. In this light, the argument entices further probing.
Many can also argue that, sexual orientation has a key word that requires attention to understanding how a first sexual experience can affect ones’ sexual preferences and that is ORIENTATION. Orientation denotes an alignment or introduction. Sometimes it is hard to get over your very first boyfriend or girlfriend because he or she was your first sexual experience. Sometimes people who were brutally raped as their first sexual experience can only climax during sex with fetishes of sadism because of their orientation to what sex is. People usually describe their preferred pleasurable sex acts based on their first sexual experience even without realizing it. Upon this defense, some psychologist believe that sexual abuse of young children can hugely affect their sexual orientation for a lifetime and potentially turn them gay or make them fluid if the abusers are male.
A famous YouTuber on several nights visited several gay clubs in research of the idea that sexual abuse has a role to play in the sexual orientation of people. Upon visiting a couple of gay bars and interviewing them secretly, their confessions made him realize that most of these men were sexually abused as children by other men. Is it merely coincidental?
However, there are also many more psychologists who believe that sexual orientation CANNOT be affected by sexual abuse. Posting this on my instagram page raised arguments from people who completely disagreed with the notion. I am sharing only two of such messages.
The first one was posted by a male sexual abuse survivor whom I have interviewed before on this blog here. With the instagram name, sinnedty101, he commented; “The sexual act can NOT determine the victim’s sexual orientation. In the same way the male perpetrators often identify as heterosexual. Rape and sexual abuse is all about power and control, once we move pass that we can better help male survivors. Homosexuality has nothing to do with sex, any homosexual male will tell you they are more than just sex…”
Another debunking statement was made by a social media influencer with the instagram name, Shermanstoy, commented; “I personally know some men who have had those same unfortunate experiences when they were young and still turned out to be some of the most straight people that I know. On another note, no one EVER ventures the possibility that some cases of little boys being molested could potentially be because of the culprit already sees homosexual tendencies in that boy, which makes him an easy target to take advantage of his vulnerability and confusion. In other words, some victims do look back in retrospect and realize they were gay before they were molested, and so this too could cause the victim to blame themselves thinking they sent of wrong vibes and asked for it, but that is not true, no one ever asks for it.”
The most important thing to realize is how much male sexual abuse is real; happening to statistically, 1 in 5 males in certain parts of Africa such as South Africa which is very high considering how many more goes unreported and ignored. We need to spread awareness and help stop this inhumane act. You can start by clicking a share button now.
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