When we talk about human sexuality, all that usually occurs to us is heterosexuality and homosexuality. We hear about these categorizations of human sexuality everyday but what we don’t really hear about is asexuality. The question is, ” Do asexual people really exist?” We often relate asexuality to plants and few other ‘animals’. But for human beings to be categorized as asexuals … it sounds insane especially to an African like me.
In Africa, EVERYBODY meaning every single individual is suppose to go through the normal stages of life and operate sexually like everyone else. A Man reaches a stipulated age, chooses a wife and has children. Anything other than that is unheard of. To live in a society like this, trying to understand anything other than heterosexuality is nonsense. No matter the geographic location, the question still remains, ” Do asexuals really exist?”
In Ghana, I believe the only accepted and understood asexuals were the men who bathed the queens; they were castrated therefore biologically they had no sexual stimuli. The only other instance I know of castrated men were male singers around the 1500’s in Germany and Italy who were castrated because they wanted to maintain their powerful boyish voices. They were called castrati and they were rich and famous because of the voices they possessed throughout their lives because their voices never broke.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation where an individual feels no form of attraction to neither sex (male or female). Another school of thought describes asexual people to be only attracted to their own selves. These definitions of asexuality is amazing and makes me wonder, “Is this even possible?”. But believe it or not, this is real.
Although they are rare they are still around. It makes me asks questions like, Was Paul of Corinth asexual? , Are some roman fathers asexual? The biggest question now is,” How do we identify these people?”
Well, you may never identify them especially in a society like Africa with tradition and culture directing every inch of our lives but there are characteristics that can give away an asexual.
1. They never have crushes like others do. They maybe married but crushes are aliens to them.
2. They act no different among members of either sexes. They act pretty much the same amongst people; male or female.
3. They are the least sexist on the planet. The fact is, everyone is a bit sexist when it comes to duties, roles and activities but asexuals simply do not discriminate based on sexes.
4.When dating an asexual, you may feel connected in many ways but there is usually never a sexual connection. You act like bros.
However, asexuals have the tendency to love and feel affection. Some of them enter relationships and also get married. They can be the most loving partners but sexually…it takes more than a bed, sexy melodies(music), and flower petals to set the mood. It is a mental state.
This mental state is usually created from past experiences such as abuse, rape, bad relationships, or simply witnessing bad relationships of people they care about like their parents or siblings. These experiences has the potential to kill one’s sexual responses because anything sexual becomes a cocktail of negative emotions and makes it a painful experience.
For other’s they train their minds that way and have therefore accepted themselves as asexuals. They need no legal statement nor a discussion about their sexual orientation because it only has to do with them and nobody else. They are living mentally as castrati’s and queen bathers. At least castrati’s do not deal with heartbreaks and even fear STD’s because the ‘S’ in the ‘TD’ is out to start with. For those who simply choose not to date, do not even offer the heart to be broken in the first place.
There has been huge controversies about homosexuality but with asexuality, I can only imagine what people think about it. Would love to know more about this. If you have facts or personal experiences about the subject, fill the form on my ‘about page’ to get to me personally and quickly or send me an email. If you also want to share something with the world, comment below. Thank you.