In a previous post, I spoke about how normal it is to feel jealous. Sometimes the sense of abnormality that people have about jealousy is actually what makes it toxic. It becomes toxic because they have this fear of accepting the existence of this very normal human emotion in them and allow it to escalate into its toxic stage where it destroys their lives and relationships. In my previous post, I even went a step further to say that it could even become an attractive trait. Yes! I did. You can find the post here.
However, when people who are afraid to admit the fact that they are jealous allow themselves to remain in denial, that emotion then gets the grounds to become toxic. And as you may already know, denial is a hopeless state of recovery.
Toxic jealousy stems from the feeling of entitlement; feelings of being entitled to a person or the feeling of owning something. When that feeling is extended to a person it can be toxic and very destructive to yourself and your relationships with others. Jealousy occurs in both friendships and romantic relationships too.
Jealousy that is a normal human trait can escalate into something very dangerous.Pathological jealousy, also known as Morbid jealousy, Othello syndrome or delusional jealousy, is a psychological disorder in which a person is preoccupied with the thought that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful without having any real proof, along with socially unacceptable or abnormal behaviour related to these thoughts. The most common cited forms of psychopathology in morbid jealousy are delusions and obsessions. It is considered a subtype of delusional disorder.
Have you been in a relationship where you felt like you are literally being cut off from your friends because of your partner or even a friend? Have you been afraid that it will be a problem to be free around other people because of your partner or friend? Are you terrified of to turn down your partner or friend’s proposal to be with you while you spend time with someone else? Is your partner consistently trying to find out whom you are with and with whom?These are quite typical signs of being with a toxic jealous person.
A lot of people take it for granted when they have the feeling of ownership and entitlement to another person when they should actually seek help. I bet you, the one that committed murder driven by jealousy probably did not think of himself as a jealous person before or after the act even when to everybody else, the motive was clear.
What I am trying to say is that, don’t be terrified and too quick to dismiss it when you sense some jealousy but be terrified when you act on that feeling . You may feel jealous sometimes, that’s natural but the point where you become controlling driven by jealousy, you need to seek help and never take it for granted. You are not a crazy person, you just need help.
The reason why it is important that you know that jealousy is natural is that it gives you the space to actually accept it; and observe yourself without being in denial of the fact. In the space of that observation is when you get to realize that you need help. Don’t be embarrassed about it if jealousy takes over you to act like you own someone else’s life because the only difference between you and many people is that fact that you act it out. That’s it! So please get help before you hurt yourself and those you love. Don’t take it for granted; accept it and work on it. Much love!