I cant believe how difficult it still is talking about ‘my family and polygamy’. After many years of prepping myself to the reality that being born into a polygamous family is not my fault, I still feel quite embarrassed about it. Well, I would like to tell you about my experiences growing up in a polygamous family.
I never understood neither did I realize how different my family was from other families. All I found awkward was the fact that my father did not live with us (my siblings, myself and my mother) but only came around to see us on visits. I vividly remember asking him to come live with us at home when I was about six years old. He only looked at me and smiled. I now know what he probably said behind that smile, ” You don’t understand”. My father loved us, we loved him too but we simply did not see enough of him. I really wanted our family to be like every other family; having a father at home who would spank and scold us and have huge treats from him. It may be weird but I really wanted all of that including the scolding and the spanking.
The times I had my father around, were times of treats and fun. He was my hero!. I would do anything to have him stay with us(usually I and my little brother). Little did I understand how polygamous relationships work. In a polygamous relationship, the man is suppose to show equal love to all his wives. As long as he cannot be everywhere, he has to live separately from them all.
My father has twelve children. Since childhood, my father has tried his possible best to bring us up together without any form of disparity whatsoever. A question I usually get when I talk about my siblings is,” Do you all live together in one house?”. Well other polygamous families may do but my family does not; we all live separately with our mothers.
I was usually so embarrassed in grade school; especially during ‘religious and moral education’ class. The teachers often spoke about polygamy; which made me so uncomfortable and embarrassed whenever the topic came up. It was something I never really spoke about especially when teachers spoke ill of polygamy. I never discussed it with any one at all.
As I grew up, I realized that coming from a polygamous family is not my fault. It may not have been the best of family experiences but it is certainly ‘MY FAMILY’ and I love it.
This is absolutely private and personal. However, as long it is unsaid/ unspoken, I decided to talk about it because that is what my blog is all about. My subscribers deserve to know more about me and some ‘typicals’ of Africa.You probably had questions running through your mind as you read. Comment below asking those questions and I will try my best to answer them.