Sitting amongst friends in the third year of university, the subject of oral sex came up. I expressed my disgust, “I don’t think I can ever do that!” I exclaimed in laughter. While we laughed, I realized the laughter was somewhat at me for saying that, one of my female friends seemed to have taken the statement I made very seriously. She didn’t blink an eye at all when I said that. She leaned in and almost in a whisper, she asked, “Richard, did you say you won’t do it?” I tried to ignore her turning her face away from mine. She insistently added, “You should! It is very very important!” The rest of the girls burst into a louder laughter. Apparently, they overheard what she had been trying to communicate to me. They all emphasized on how important oral sex is to them. I remember thinking how disgusting it was and how much my future wife would have to be patient enough to teach me and wondered if I’d ever do it.
On to this post, I was having a conversation with a Christian brother a few days ago when the subject of oral sex came up. He said having oral sex with your wife is SEXUAL PERVERSION. I was shocked!
About three years ago, a very popular pastor in Ghana spoke about his healthy sexual relationship with his wife; he spoke about having sex with his wife before church services and sometimes during a fast. He even went further to talk about practicing oral sex with his wife and these raised a whole debate and argument among the Christendom. That was the first time I realized how much I wasn’t overreacting when I titled one of my blog posts as “Church is destroying our sex lives”.
I was surprised to hear that other pastors thought that sex with your own wife could be sinful when you have sex with her during a fast or before a Sunday service. The point they stressed on even the most was about their issue with oral sex with his WIFE.
The question I consistently ask when it comes to issues such as these is, “Who says oral sex is wrong” Then the usual freeze arises, and then they often say that it is the Holy Spirit that says it from within; it is intrinsic. Christianity is not intrinsic; it is based on God’s word. Basing our beliefs on how we feel and blaming God for our feelings cannot be the truth. This is because our innate judgment of wrong and right is highly influenced by our culture, our upbringing, experiences and society. If we don’t realize this, we can easily confuse our own feelings and judgments to be God’s will and forcing every other person to believe in how YOU feel. The intrinsic and innate judgment (holy spirit) of Jamaicans say it’s okay to wear dreadlocks as a Christian but that same innate judgment you call the holy spirit is telling Christians in Ghana that it is wrong. How can one spirit be that confused? It is not possible.
All I am saying is, you can stand by what you want…believe in what you want but please don’t put them on God. Put them on you!
You may not want oral sex but if someone else does, stop making them feel like devils because they do! Share this post to others by clicking the share button and let me know what you think about oral sex down below.