She loves you!!

I had the funniest and at the same time, a really sad experience some time ago with a class mate; a female class mate. This girl was so nice to me. She would get me a seat beside her in class when she arrives early enough, she would buy me a bottle of coke when she visits the bar, she always wanted me to be in her study group and all the beautiful things a human being could possibly do for another human being.

You could mistaken those to be signs of love and affection towards me but the truth is…. it is not the truth. She was just a nice person and she thought of me as an intelligent and a good sitting partner. Thinking about it makes me laugh so hard. Because I actually thought she was  into me. She caused me to keep up appearances. I will go shopping to get the best of clothing, perfume and all the aesthetics to look good enough for her to make her fall in love with me the more. ‘Silly me huhn?’ Even if she really liked me when I wore no perfume and expensive clothes, why on earth would she fall in love with me now when I stopped being ME. You would definitely understand the ME factor if you have read my post https://richardsiaw.com/use-a-good-mirror/.

In class one day, I saw her steal glances at me. You know what, the mind has a way of creating a world you so much believe in. I only saw her stealing glances at me because I believed she was in love with me. Prior to meeting her I have always felt like this back then. Tadaa!!

Back to my story, I felt she was stealing glances at me because I also felt I looked like this at the moment.

Don’t ask me if I didn’t use a mirror in the morning. Well, I did but when a beautiful girl gives you that much of attention you forget how you really look like.

I gathered the courage and decided to ask her out. “Can we start seeing each other?” Were my exact words. OMG!. Why would I even say that? She gave me the second chance by asking,” What did you say?” I didn’t take the chance to say,” You have nice teeth” or ” Have you done the assignment?” I repeated the words of doom, ” Can we start seeing each other?”

A memory of her face I can never forget was how she looked at me for a while as if I spoke a language she could not understand. After a few seconds of staring at me, she burst into laughter. I cant seem to understand now, but I joined in and laughed so hard as well. It makes no sense now when I think about it. Why would you laugh with someone who is laughing at you?

After she had one hell of a laughter at me, she simply said, “No, we cant start seeing each other”. She apologized for giving false hopes and signals . She explained to me the reason for her actions that may have given the impression. For some weird reason after that experience I was not embarrassed nor worried anymore. Well, to be franc, I could not look at her for about three days; lets say a week. After that, I felt free and our relationship grew stronger and more genuine. I never pushed myself to get clothes I couldn’t afford nor wear a perfume that clogged my lungs. I just loved our genuine relationship. We drew close enough to share our diaries with each other. It could not have been more perfect.

She is now with a boyfriend she has refused to dump although he treats her like crap. She has already done three abortions but will not stop having sex with him nor use a contraceptive. The boyfriend claims he hates condoms and that is good enough an excuse for her. She won her heart simply because he said, ” I love you”. What is the relevance of love if it is not shown. The worst thing is she would give an excuse in the world for her boyfriend’s behavior. Why on earth do girls fall so hard for the words,” I love you”.

“I love you” is an icing on the cake that shows the actions of true love.  Saying it is not everything.

It is even worse in Africa. Many young girls get pregnant and drop out of school because a man promised to love them.  You will find out why girls fall for the word, ” I love you” in my blog post https://www.richardsiaw.com/the-heaviest-three-words-on-the-lips-of-an-african-i-love-you/ Perhaps I should have said, “I love you”.

P.S: I am much better looking and hotter than her boyfriend.