The lonely journey of abstinence- my point of view.

Abstinence from sex has gradually become an unheard of scenario by many. It has become such an embarrassing topic for the seemingly few young men that practice it to talk about lately, because our society has been taught to accept it mainly for women. Even for women, it is surprising how the society is gradually beginning to look at it side eyed. In this post, we take a dive into the minds of people who practice abstinence and what it’s like to live life abstaining from sex.

People have different reasons for abstinence; religious, health, sense of structure in oneself, sense of purity, protective of ones emotions and feelings, bad past romantic experiences, unique sexual attractions which is usually not by choice are only but a few reasons why people practice abstinence.

For how long to abstain?

Most people that abstain from sex do that till they find the right partner they can trust with their body and their hearts. Others wait till they get married while many others just want to know enough about whomever they are interested in to finally let down their dross. You’d think that these standards makes sense but in our day, abstinence has become such an awkward and lonely journey for both men and women.

Why is it awkward?

You’d think that it would be absolutely easy for a man to get into a relationship with a lady; someone to share similar values with but it may surprise you to know that is not the reality at all. A lot of girls would want to ‘tear off your clothes with their teeth’ if you are ever alone with them. A persistent refusal of sex with her usually leads to a break-up. For men, it is absolutely obvious the raging sexual drives of many and a lady who turns down an invitation to his home at awkward times may end her relationship more abruptly than she could have ever imagined.

The journey of abstinence today has become a lonely one because not many people practice it and also has become the best ‘antidote’ to ever being in a relationship. So when you choose abstain, you are usually thought of as weird which leads to wrong assumptions about you.

Misconceptions about those that abstain

Lack of Sex Means Lack of Love

It is such a twisted and untrue notion that refusing sex with someone means you don’t love them or aren’t attracted to them. While the reality is, the fact that sex is being withheld till the right time, rather means that they are more interested in you more than you could ever know or understand. For the abstinent, love has nothing to do with sex at all and it may break their hearts when you walk away; heartbreak the usual person may never understand.

Playing hard to get

Trust me, a person who’s practiced abstinence for a long time,  finds this laughable because he or she has faced too much rejection for being abstinent to play hard to get with someone they are interested in. To actually spare some time to treat them in acceptance, patience and love, is required for abstinents who have seen nothing but rejection. The least negligence for some could be a sign of rejection since that is how they are used to being treated.

They must have been sexually abused

Even though it may be true that horrible experiences such as these is one of the reasons for abstinence, not all men and women who practice abstinence have been sexually abused. Being very patient and understanding is very important for many,  especially the sexually abused; rushing them with sex talk and demands may scare them into dropping the relationship like a coal of fire.

They have something to hide.

Some people think of abstinent men and women as people having skeletons in their cupboards; one they don’t want revealed. I shared a story on my blog where a ‘celibate’ man was actually practicing celibacy to prevent his partner from finding out about his tiny penis. Some men and women, who practice abstinence in our day, are usually thought to be gay and lesbian. Men who practice abstinence are suspected to have sexual secrets such as erectile dysfunctions which makes them incapable of having sexual relations. These are real cases too but the reality still is, not all abstinent men and women have something to hide.

If you claim to be really interested in someone, why can’t you wait however difficult it may be till the time is right for both of you?  Quitting a relationship based on the absence of sex may just throw away your one time chance of finding that perfect soul mate. Because the truth is, sex being nothing but a part of love will not be withheld from you forever by the abstinent man or woman. Remember, love is patient…love is kind.

Put a smile on somebody’s face especially someone who’s practicing abstinence so that he’s encouraged by clicking a share button.