If God asked you, “Would you want a clone of yourself as your child?”, what would you say?
Sitting down at a self esteem and self confidence session at G-youth camp made me think about this question I was asked not long ago. My brother asked me this question and my response was, “Hell No!” Unlike me, there are also people who’d scream, “Yes!” just like my brother did.
So I went around asking people this question and people who screamed yes, obviously had a positive self esteem and therefore were generally self confident. Those who said “No” were also the shy and kinda withdrawn type of people. Wanting your child(someone you love with all your heart) to be like you in everything should take a great deal of self love to make that confession.
It is amazing how none of us were born with a low self esteem but we manage to learn it so quickly in life. The expectations the society has of us in appearance, abilities etc. Falling short of any of these, forces us to put ourselves in boxes afraid to break free for anyone to see the REAL us, we try so consciously to hide only showing the part of us the society wants to see. Discomfort in socializing with new people because deep down, we are afraid that our difference won’t be appreciated by the majority.
Sitting down at the self esteem and self confidence session, I begun to trace the causes of my self esteem. As much as I was loved by family and loads of teachers growing up, it didn’t save me from my self esteem being bruised. Very important points beneficial to everyone will be raised in my story.
Parents and wanna-be parents should pay close attention to this. Any issue that I have ever had with self esteem that could ever be connected to my parents or my upbringing really has NOTHING to do with what they did or said TO me, but it was more of what they allowed me to see of them. SIMPLE.
My parents love me to bits but I feel as a child that they didn’t love themselves enough so much that I found it weird and out of place to see a married couple laugh or simply enjoying each others company. It’s really funny that parents think loving their children is all their children requires of them but more than anything children require that parents show love to each other.
A weird trend I found from asking the question, would you want your child to be a clone of you? ” Most people who gave positive answers to this question,” Yes” mostly had a good family system where they lived with their parents in love and harmony. On the other hand, I found out that those with low self esteem usually lived separately from their parents growing up probably in divorce,or simply seperation(broken homes)
This affected my thinking with what marriage is, how people relate to others and the lack of confidence in myself. Loving each other as parents has huge effect on children than they think.
I was different.. Very different growing up… I’m kinda different(in my mind) because reality is, we are all not so different. We are just different people but in truth we are all the same… We all want acceptance and love.
But how different I was as a child was that I was extremely skinny and sickly looking as I was told by my peers in school. Therefore, I didn’t fit in no matter how hard I tried. I couldnt do sports, I was even afraid to try because I was afraid that I’d be laughed at. The low self-esteem I had of myself forced me not to try at all to be good at anything and that caused people to say that to me even more. The ripple effect that comes with low self esteem…
The yearning to be invisible was a prayer every time I walked past a group of friends or peers because I was afraid of being laughed at. This affected my ability to make new friends and socializing with people I didn’t know. It takes such a long time to warm to new people. A long time I may add!
Eventhough I still battle with it as does alot of people, I know I am way better than I was before. Realizing that there are more people who struggle with low self esteem makes it much easier for me to deal with mine. Yep, if you struggle with it too then you are not alone.
Talking about this and admitting to this even shows that I am way better than I used to. The fact is, alot of people with the lowest confidence in themselves are those that try their hardest to hide it sometimes wearing different personalities other than theirs.
The journey to loving yourself and having confidence is not easy. But knowing that you are loved by God no matter who you are, what you are or where you are places you on the right path to loving yourself. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” if you feel different and not appreciated just know that you are unique and there’s something special to your uniqueness;it’s up to you to find out how special you really are from everyone else.
Click here for a little bit of the video I enjoyed at camp on self confidence